Can't Find The Words To Express

I did it! Ive deleted my Facebook and Twitter and i must say i feel a lot better! Now this i can’t delete. This is for me! I dont have to talk to anyone..this is for me! and how i feel. and if someone reads my stuff i hope it helps them get through stuff like it does me.

After reading Kimberly’s post on all our social networks and also hearing this topic so much that im not falling for it anymore. I was reading an article about a woman trying to find a man. He figured everything he needed and wanted to know about her through Facebook. And me personally coming from a relationship that ALL we did was text and then when we saw each other had nothing to talk about because we probably said everything through text was and is frustrating. These networks are taking away our means of communication in real life. And i want to stop all this starting with me. Im going back to the good ole days. In my next relationship the only way you can reach me is if you CALL me. Now im not saying you cant text me with a good morning or good night or a “ima be a little late to our date” or a “thinking about you” but i dont want a fool on hour conversation through texts. There’s no emotion through it. Another thing im doing and ive said before but now ive really realized is taking away these social networks..tumblr no! but yes to facebook and twitter there not doing anything for me! there just saying “hey look what im doing right now” why do i want people in my life 24-7. and i dont think its weird. many of my friends dont have any of these networks and theyre perfectly content and i believe living more of a life than i ever will. so here it goes, no more confining to this nonhuman world.

“then were done..” never thought i could feel my heart literally feel like its been twisted inside me and dropped all the way to my stomach. but you accomplish everything right. It hurts so much that i can hurt this much. and that i gave you the power to hurt me so much. But the thing i realized is that your not the one in the wrong. i am. There was so many warning signs that i chose to ignore. Not just the obvious of my friends telling me not to keep the relationship but the signs within the relationship. and now i wanna slap myself for realizing them NOW. but this is the way God wanted me to see things and this is his will and his way. When i said i could write my life as a book or movie its true. but everyone could do it and we would all have best sellers because everyones life is complicated, interesting, sad, happy, frustrating, not normal. Thats the beauty of it. We all are dealt with the same situations in life but its our means of how we act when dealt that card. For instance dealing with the amount of deaths in my family its made me appreciate how life is so precious and so minute that a lot of people take for granted. It breaks my heart when i hear 11-18yr olds taking their lives because of bullying/or not feeling the worth of living. that hits home for me because my own sister was never given the chance at life. that right was taken from her. she never got her first boyfriend, she never got that extravagant 16th birthday. she never got to experience high school or college. And thats who I think about everyday when i wake up and go to sleep. thats the person that makes me go out and live. the person that makes me be the better me. I’m in a weird way glad that certain things happen in my life. to make me stronger. to let me know to stay away from somethings and some people because Ive dealt with that certain thing before. and thats the beauty of it all. “You spread yourself to thin” as my mother says. “you wanna be friends with everyone, and thats good and all but do you really have substance with all these people?” and my answer was yes. I take everything i know from the people i associate with. They are an extension of me. Yes its nice to have that one really there for you best friend and i have that. but to have many more i think is amazing. it also comes with a lot of stress and heartache but i love a challenge. I guess what im saying through all of this is what im dealing with in life is not abnormal everyone deals with it. its how you yourself take action upon it is whats going to determine you. 

To test the limits of the relationship between performer and audience, Abramović developed one of her most challenging (and best-known) performances. She assigned a passive role to herself, with the public being the force which would act on her.

Abramović had placed upon a table 72 objects that people were allowed to use (a sign informed them) in any way that they chose. Some of these were objects that could give pleasure, while others could be wielded to inflict pain, or to harm her. Among them were scissors, a knife, a whip, and, most notoriously, a gun and a single bullet. For six hours the artist allowed the audience members to manipulate her body and actions.

Initially, members of the audience reacted with caution and modesty, but as time passed (and the artist remained impassive) several people began to act quite aggressively. As Abramović described it later:

“The experience I learned was that…if you leave decision to the public, you can be killed.” … “I felt really violated: they cut my clothes, stuck rose thorns in my stomach, one person aimed the gun at my head, and another took it away. It created an aggressive atmosphere. After exactly 6 hours, as planned, I stood up and started walking toward the public. Everyone ran away, escaping an actual confrontation.”

kayyraeee:

raul3k:

randomjab:

Falling out of love is the worst way to break up because of the following reasons:

• it’s not because all you did was fight
• it’s not because you never had time to see each other
• it’s not because someone cheated

you can mend a fight, find ways to see each other more, and forgive.

but how do you stop yourself from falling out of love?

nikkibon:

itskatherinemae:

mariannmaeee:

mariannmaeee:

A guy’s point of view: I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don’t look good… It hurts… because it’s our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, big boobs, round booty, long legs, sexy lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well… nobody can measure up to that… and its not fair… because nobody should have to. Girls prefer being called beautiful instead of hot or sexy. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I’m sorry, our… deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men… realize that women don’t exist to fulfill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Don’t say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you’ll get some, but because its true and you know they like to hear them. In short… we need to grow up and stop acting like freakin retarded little boys.

I already blogged this but this should be a reminder.

Agreed.